Love and the city - Season 1 Episode 5 (English Version)

Today a moment, I thought would nerver come, comes, but yes.

It's time to talk about the selfishness in relationships. And especially in a relationship, called somehow, it always had overtones of selfishness, but I thought I was normal, thinking a bit on us to not suffer a lot.

Well, after my posts Love and the City, selfishness has become evident in this person.

This person appeared in March 2008 when I was starting to recover from my heartbreak because of Mr. Big. We were learning languages, one of the things I like the most and that probably join us. Perhaps in those early days it was assumed no further movements due to being far away in space, we were enjoying internet. We share languages, we went to another course in New York, then many more in Spain. Between those times we were meeting up, but we can say that I was always who pay the visits to the other person. Here selfishness began to become real.

From the beginning I knew that the distance was there but I did not care much because I did not think there was anything more than a friendship. But in the end I discovered another thing. Instead of approaching the other one moved further (always by the sea, as I have told many times).

From Valencia to Alicante, Alicante to Barcelona, Barcelona to Kenya (without going through Madrid), Barcelona to Copenhagen... Curious that each of these steps made this person think more about being together instead of thinking that we were getting further...

Of course each of these steps took away from my mind the idea of having anything with this person. From now on we will call this person Santander. You already know several of my stories: Mr. Big, my summer love, Santander... Returning to the subject. Each time Santander took a step was to go further but complained that I was not fighting... Am I really going to fight for something that I have so far? One thing is to have a relationship in the distance and another one to not carry a relationship... Maybe in this, I was a bit selfish, but in a relationship we should see each other from time to time and when you are the only one who goes near, can you believe that the other person will approach at some point? I would say yes, it's hard to believe...

The funny thing is that, going farther and farther, Santander told I were not doing anything... Do I give three steps forward and the other person 200 backward? What are we playing? Perhaps the age, not knowing what to do in life, fear to do these things... but I never tire of repeating that I have almost 30 years and already tired of hard things and indecision.

Curious situation: English course of a week, Santander really wanted to see me; in the end only three days because Santander have to go back to work (to get money to go to Copenhagen) and one night asked me what I wanted... What do I want? You go to Copenhagen... Not to mention that this was in December and we haven't seen each other since July (the last visit by me...) And that summer was going to Kenya and could have made stops in Madrid, or come in summer, but Santander didn't care so much despite now it seems it causes outrage to try to make my life.

What do you want? Waiting two more years to finish your European tour and know what you really want?
Sorry I can not ... as I said yesterday with Mr. Big, What Good Does It waiting for something that you do not even know if it's real? Because it is very easy to romanticize something that you do not have becuase of the distance and when you're together is wonderful because you have no time to take advantage of it...

Getting back to selfishness, as you can see the other party has thought of nothing but his own and do not worry about me. Because now that Santander knows that I'm trying to find someone while she did the shame seems to hurt Santander's heart. And how did I feel when I knew that Santander was rolling with some and with others? Because by the time Santander stopped was the moment when I realised all was lost and started to advance. How can you blame me about not taking steps and not to fight when you walked away every moment more?

Anyway ... more in later chapters ...

LOVE AND THE CITY